Why?

Questions, questions, questions. Are they worth answering? Probably not in all reality.Having said that, I still feel the need to ask questions. One of the questions that I have is how can most people keep themselves balanced and happy? I obviously know they’re not happy all of the time but they seem find a way to move on from things and are able to function fine.

I’ve had situations where I’ve gone through things that would make anyone unhappy, angry or scared but I should have been able to have moved on from those things like others seem to do. Even if I’ve had the chance to and to experience happiness and calm, it never really lasts more than a couple of months before I start slipping. Maybe it’s not a natural thing, maybe other people work a lot harder and are more in tune with their emotions to be able to cope. If that’s the case, then why haven’t I learned those skills as well?

Maybe I’m over analyzing things as I’m not feeling great right now. Maybe I’m OK and do those things, maybe I’m just a natural worrier and should just accept this and find a way to manage that. I do feel I self-sabotage a lot though when I’ve got no reason to be anxious or unhappy. Maybe it’s all about mindfulness and checking in with yourself regularly if you are the type of person I am.

 

Maybe by doing that daily or weekly, if those negative things start rearing their ugly head, I can use some coping mechanisms to overcome them and carry on moving forward positively? If that’s the answer for me, why can’t I do that? Why haven’t I already done it? Is it laziness or just burying my head in the sand and denying It’s something I need to do? Maybe it’s just because I’m forgetful?

Has all of this come from the way I was brought up? I didn’t have a bad childhood, I actually thought I had a good one but there are so many dynamics to consider with this, it’s probably impossible to put a finger on it. Is it a hereditary thing and more to do with a chemical imbalance due to lifestyle, diet etc.?

Why god damn it, whyyyyyyy????

Anyways, Let’s see if by scheduling in some daily meditation for the next couple of months makes a difference. Let’s see if the next time I’m feeling good and happy within myself, I can be consistent and keep focused.

Let’s see what happens from the doctor’s appointment I’ve got next week. Let’s see how I feel in a few months once the dust has properly settled from the break up.

Until then, I’ll keep busy as to not allow enough time to keep mulling over all those poxy and fairly pointless questions.